Fatwa No : 83020
Illicit Relations with a Non-Muslim Woman

Illicit Relations with a Non-Muslim Woman

I am 22 years old and living in the United States. I am in distress and seeking guidance. I had a sexual relationship with a non-Muslim woman, and we were together for two years and five months. About a year ago, we mutually ended the physical relationship, but we remained friends. Now, I am faced with a decision: Should I stay with her permanently, or leave her? She is not willing to accept Islam, and I respect her decision, but I love her deeply. I need guidance—should I stay with her or let her go? Letting go would be extremely difficult and heartbreaking. What frightens me the most is the thought that I might fall in love with a Muslim woman in the future, and I’ll have to reveal everything I did. Should I hide my past from my future spouse, or be honest about it? Is it right in the sight of Allah to love someone deeply, to dream and bond with them, and then leave them suddenly in grief and hardship? I sincerely seek Islamic advice in this matter.

الجوابُ حامِدا ًو مُصلیِّا ً

In the mentioned case, the relationship that the questioner described with a non-Muslim woman is entirely unlawful (haram) in Islam. Being intimately or casually involved with any non-maḥram woman—whether she is a Muslim or a non-Muslim—is strictly forbidden in Shari‘ah.
Therefore, first and foremost, it is obligatory (wajib) upon the questioner to completely end this unlawful relationship and sincerely repent (make tawbah) for the sins committed in the past. He must seek forgiveness (istighfar) from Allah with a sincere heart and firmly avoid such actions in the future. Secondly, he should seek to marry a suitable, noble, and good-natured woman—either from within his community or outside of it—through the guidance and involvement of his parents, and devote his energy and intentions toward building a pure and lawful relationship.