Fatwa No : 88212
Ruling on Severing Ties with One’s Father

Ruling on Severing Ties with One’s Father

My father was always carefree during my childhood. In his youth, he earned just enough to get by, and now he doesn’t earn anything at all. He is now 64 years old. My mother, maternal grandfather, maternal aunt, and maternal uncle covered all our expenses—school fees, clothes, and daily necessities. My father only managed to provide the bare minimum. For the past ten years, he has stopped earning altogether, even though there is nothing physically problem with him. My mother used the inheritance she received from her father to pay for the university fees of the four of us and sometimes for household expenses. My father was aware of this but still did not take any initiative to work. My mother used to cry in front of him, asking him to get a job, but he would just agree verbally and do nothing. Even now, he still does nothing.
I have witnessed this behavior from my father since childhood. Alhamdulillah, I now earn well on my own. However, my respect for my father has completely diminished. For the past four years, even though we live in the same house, I have had no communication with him—I do not greet him or speak to him. I ended the communication myself. My mother says, “You are committing a sin, son. Don’t do this—greet your father.” But I do not know how I can greet or speak to him when my respect for him has completely disappeared.

الجوابُ حامِدا ًو مُصلیِّا ً

It should be understood that the father’s behavior toward his wife and children—such as neglecting their maintenance and care—is not correct according to Shariʿah. However, despite this, it is not Shariʿah-wise for the son to show disrespect, insult, or sever ties with his father based on this behavior. Doing so would render the son sinful. Therefore, the son should uphold his father’s rights and ensure his complete respect and proper treatment. Insha’Allah, this will be a means of his own success and well-being.

مأخَذُ الفَتوی

کما قال اللہ تعالی : وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنًاۚ إِمَّا يَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفّٖ وَلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلٗا كَرِيمٗا 23 وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي، سورہ بنی اسرائیل آیۃ 23 ۔24 )
و فی موضع آخر : وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيۡهِ إِحۡسَٰنًاۖ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرۡهٗا وَوَضَعَتۡهُ كُرۡهٗاۖ ،سورہ الاحقاف،آیۃ 15)
و فی موضع آخر : وَصَاحِبۡهُمَا فِي ٱلدُّنۡيَا مَعۡرُوفٗاۖ وَٱتَّبِعۡ سَبِيلَ مَنۡ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّۚ،سورہ لقمان،آیۃ 15۔)
و فی صحیح مسلم : عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: « ‌رَغِمَ ‌أَنْفُهُ ثُمَّ ‌رَغِمَ ‌أَنْفُهُ ثُمَّ ‌رَغِمَ ‌أَنْفُهُ. قِيلَ: مَنْ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ؟ قَالَ: مَنْ أَدْرَكَ وَالِدَيْهِ عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِأَحَدَهُمَا أَوْ كِلَيْهِمَا، ثُمَّ لَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ۔رقم الحدیث : 2551،ص : 5 ۔)
و فی مسند احمد : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: " ‌مَنْ ‌أَحَبَّ ‌أَنْ ‌يُمَدَّ ‌لَهُ ‌فِي ‌عُمْرِهِ، وَأَنْ يُزَادَ لَهُ فِي رِزْقِهِ، فَلْيَبَرَّ وَالِدَيْهِ، وَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ ،ج : 21، رقم الحدیث : 13401۔ )
و فی سنن الترمذی : عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: "‌رِضَا ‌الربِّ ‌فِي ‌رِضَا ‌الْوَالِدِ، وَسُخْطُ الرَّبِّ فِي سُخْطِ الْوَالِدِ". رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ. [ت: 1899۔)