Fatwa No : 85333
Forcing a boy and girl into marriage

Forcing a boy and girl into marriage

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh! I hope you are well. I would like to seek Shariah guidance regarding a marriage issue. About five years ago, my uncle forcibly arranged my marriage with his daughter. At that time, neither I nor his daughter were willing to marry, and the rest of the family members were also against this marriage. I would also like to clarify that for about five years, my uncle’s daughter remained unwilling to this marriage, but later, my uncle forced his daughter to consent. Furthermore, my elder uncle (Taya) is now pressuring us by saying that if I do not agree to this marriage, they will cut off all family ties with us. My questions are: According to Islam and the scholars, what is the ruling on a marriage in which both the boy and the girl are not willing? If, due to refusal, the family threatens to sever relations—or actually severs them—what is the Islamic ruling on such an act? Is such a marriage valid and recognized in Shariah? Please provide guidance in light of the Qur’an, Sunnah, and the opinions of the jurists so that I may understand my correct Shariah position.
Note: The uncle only formally arranged an engagement (mangni) between the questioner and his daughter. A proper marriage contract (Nikah) with offer and acceptance (Ijab and Qubool) was not performed.

الجوابُ حامِدا ًو مُصلیِّا ً

It should be understood that the Nikah (marriage contract) is not performed merely for temporary or momentary convenience; rather, it is intended as a lifelong bond. Through marriage, harmony and unity are established between two families, and affection and happiness develop between two individuals. Therefore, while entering into marriage, it is very important to consider the mutual inclination of the boy and girl, the compatibility of their temperaments, and their mental harmony. Otherwise, such neglect often leads to mutual dislike between husband and wife, resulting in separation or divorce. For this reason, the Hadith also allows a man and woman, even though they are non-mahram to each other, to look at one another once before marriage to ensure compatibility. Hence, in the case mentioned, if both the questioner and his uncle’s daughter are not sincerely willing to proceed with the marriage, then it is not correct for the uncle to force them into it or to threaten family boycott in case of refusal. The questioner should therefore gently and wisely explain to his uncle and family members that insisting on such a marriage is inappropriate and against Islamic guidance.

مأخَذُ الفَتوی

کما فی صحیح البخاری: عن شھاب أن محمد بن جبیر بن مطعم قال إن جبیر بن مطعم رضی اللہ عنہ أخبرہ أنہ سمع النبی ﷺ یقول لا یدخل الجنۃ قاطع ( باب إثم القاطع ج:4، ص: 2672، ط: بشری)۔
قال العلامۃ محمد زکریا الکاندھلوی فی حاشیتہ: و للمصنف ”الأدب المفرد“ من حدیث أبی ھریرۃ رفعہ إن أعمال بنی آدم تعرض کل عشیۃ خمیس لیلۃ جمعۃ فلا یقبل العمل قاطع رحم، و للطبرانی من حدیث ابن مسعود إن أبواب السماء مغلقۃ دون قاطع الرحم و غیر ذلک من الروایات ذکرھا الحافظ (باب إثم القاطع ج: 4،ص: 2672، ط: بشری)
و فی مشکاۃ المصابیح: عن المغیرۃ بن شعبۃ قال خطبت إمرأۃ فقال لی رسول اللہﷺ ھل نظرت إلیھا قلت لا قال فانظر إلیھا فإنہ أحری أن یؤدم بینکما رواہ أحمد و النسائی و إبن ماجۃ و الدارمی ( کتاب النکاح باب النظر إلی المخطوبۃ ج: 2، ص: 281، ط: قدیمی)۔
و فی مرقاۃ المفاتیح تحت الحدیث: عن المغیرۃ بن شعبۃ قال خطبت إمرأۃ ( إلی قولہ) أی یوقع الأدم بینکما الألفۃ و المحبۃ لأن تزوجھا إذا کان بعد معرفۃ فلا یکون بعدھا غالبا ندامۃ الخ ( کتاب النکاح باب النظر إلی المخطوبۃ ج:2 ص281، ط: حقانیۃ)۔
و فی الدر المختار: ( و لا تجبر البالغۃ البکر علی النکاح ) لإنقطاع الولایۃ بالبلوغ الخ ۔
و فی الشامیۃ تحت: ( قولہ ولا تجبر البالغۃ الخ) و لا الحر البالغ و لمکاتب و المکاتبۃ و لو صغیرین الخ ( کتاب النکاح باب الولی ج: 3، ص: 58، ط: سعید )۔